The Weekly Rant

Week Seven

It’s golf this week and the ridiculousness of its rules and sanctions. Last week at the BMW Masters in Shanghai, Yorkshire man, Simon Dyson was disqualified for signing an incorrect scorecard. The possible sanctions and the way in which the offence was brought to attention is beyond silly.

Dyson, a winner of six European Tour titles denies deliberately using the ball to tap down an obstruction between his ball and the hole as he marked his ball on the eighth green. See for yourself here (was the divot even on the putting line? Looked a bit to the left to me.) . At this point if the player deliberately flattened the obstruction he would have had to mark a two-shot penalty on his card. Dyson did not and was in breach of rule 16-1a which forbids a player touching the line of the putt. The possible sanction is a three month ban from the European Tour! Three months for absent mindedly tapping down a spike divot!

Upon viewing the footage afterwards Dyson said he was “bitterly disappointed” and that he had no way of explaining why or how he came to do what he did “I can’t even remember doing it.” Dyson (2013) “I have never deliberately broken the rules, either on this occasion or in the past.” Dyson (2013). He immediately accepted that he should be disqualified. I do believe it was a genuine case of his brain taking a holiday as even a woefully useless and impatient pitch ’n’ putt hasher such as myself knows you don’t do that! Especially when you know the world is watching and watching they were.

European chief referee, John Parmor was alerted by television viewers of the infraction which could see the golfer banned. To save possible embarrassment Dyson has withdrawn from next week’s Turkish Open fearing an announcement of his punishment during the competition. These viewers really should get out more, get themselves a life. I can imagine the situation. Two or more (probably more, mob mentality…) prats at the bar after a round at the local club are now full of brandy and engaging in the heated argument over Dyson’s misdemeanour. After yet more brandy and pontificating they now see it as their duty protect the integrity of “our” game and to Google the referee’s name and call him up to report this reprobate. Get a life!


Dyson, S. (2013) Dyson disqualified in Shanghai, Available at:  (accessed: 03rd November 2013)

Dyson, S. (2013) Tour to consider Dyson punishment, Available at: (accessed: 03rd November 2013)




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